I guess most folks celebrate their actual wedding anniversary. Ya meet, get engaged, get married. Very basic.

We never thought we were going to be able to get married, so we kinda skipped the whole engaged part and went right to living together without legal benefit.

That was just how it was until 2008 when California legalized marriage equality. We were all set to get married in San Francisco when they unlegalized marriage equality two weeks before our wedding date. Back to simply living together without legal benefit.

In 2010 – when New Hampshire legalized marriage equality – our friend Marlene said she would marry us up there. And on October 14th of that very year, we were standing in a gazebo in Stark Park in Manchester New Hampshire saying our I Do’s.


Since we had forgotten our suits, shoes, and all our dress things, we made it a really casual ceremony. I mean, hell… we had already been living together for 14 years at that point. It was a beautiful fall day – perfect for getting married in blue jeans and red sneakers.

We had one of the smallest weddings imaginable. After our California let-down, we decided simple was best. It really was a perfect day.


October 14th became the day we were married, but it still wasn’t recognized in Pennsylvania – nor was it recognized by the Federal Government. It was four more years – May, 2014 – before Pennsylvania recognized us, and another year – June 26, 2015 – before the Supreme Court ruled that we were really married everywhere. Dates Dates Dates. Do we celebrate when we were married but weren’t back home? When we were finally married back home but not everywhere else? When we were finally recognized everywhere? Or just keep that original date that seemed to work just fine before legalities started clouding everything? We opted for the latter.

That doesn’t mean that October 14th doesn’t hold significance – it most certainly does – but it sounds a lot better to say we’ve been together for 22 years than married for 6.

So it’s a quiet celebration. Fun pasta – Fusilli Capri, a thick, twisted foot-long pasta from Naples – on our Florentine plates. Can’t say we’re not wild and crazy!

22 down and 28 more to make 50.

I’m ready!