Today is a rather auspicious day for us – The Supreme Court heard the California Prop 8 case.

Prop 8 is very personal for us, because we had planned on getting married at home in San Francisco in November of 2008. We had the venue booked, the marriage license secured, invitations sent – and then Prop 8 pulled the plug on us. We flew home, anyway, had a fun family party, and took the train back to PA. A fun trip – it wasn’t our honeymoon.

Two years later, we did get married in New Hampshire – by a dear friend.

We’re legally married today, but for all intents and purposes, our marriage certificate is worthless outside of a handful of states. And meaningless to the Federal Government.

That, of course, is the issue.

Forget about the fact that Victor and I couldn’t use my VA benefits to buy a home together. Forget about the fact that the surviving partner would have to inherit and pay inheritance tax on half of our home. Forget about the fact that, legally, his mother is his next of kin – not me.

We just moved his mom in with us because she can no longer thrive on her own. It was a decision we made gladly. She will be taken care of no matter what it takes. But if I needed to take time off to help care for her, I do not qualify for FEMLA – the Family Emergency Medical Leave Act.  According to the United States Government, my mother-in-law is not my family.

That’s a really bitter pill to swallow.

And trying to do the basics – like cancelling her cable TV and phone service… The roadblocks and hoops I had to jump through have been crazy. Fortunately, both pharmacists know me, so the transferring her prescriptions from one pharmacy to another has been relatively painless.

But even if the government and the utility companies fail to believe she’s my kin, I most certainly do. And she of me.

So what does a good son-in-law do for his live-in mother-in-law after dealing with utilities and pharmacies?!? Bake her cookies, of course!

Nonna loves coconut in all its various forms. When she lived on her own, I did her grocery shopping every week for her and whenever I could find a Cadbury Coconut Egg, I’d sneak one into her grocery bag. She’s diabetic and not supposed to eat them, but she’s always been really good about keeping her blood sugar in line.

I made her a ridiculous coconut cake a few years ago for a combo birthday/Mother’s Day bash – she had the smallest slice imaginable and loved every forbidden bite.

So today I made her cookies – coconut cookies.


Coconut Cookies

  • 2 cups flour
  • 2 cups shredded coconut, chopped in processor
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 3/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 tbsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp coconut extract
  • 2 cups minced shredded coconut for rolling cookies

Preheat oven to 350°.

Whisk together flour, coconut, baking powder, and salt.

Cream butter and sugar in a large bowl until light and fluffy. Beat in egg, vanilla, and coconut extract. Add flour mixture and mix until just combined.

Using a 1 tbsp scoop, form into balls and roll in coconut.

Place on cookie sheets and bake for 14 minutes, rotating pans halfway through.

Makes about 4 dozen cookies.



They came out really good. Nice and chewy – a bit macaroon-like, but with more substance and less sweetness.

She ate one.

So there’s the real Gay Agenda. Just trying to get by….