21 months ago Proposition 8 put a halt to our wedding in my hometown of San Francisco. Everything was planned, invitations had been sent, the whole family was ready and waiting. And then the impossible happened. Proposition 8 passed by a slim margin. Our wedding was not to be.
Regular readers will recall our train trip from San Fransisco back here to Pennsylvania – what was supposed to be our honeymoon trip. We made the best of it – hell, we had already paid for it – but it was bittersweet.
Disappointment doesn’t begin to describe our feelings. Bitter and angry were more like it. And I’ve been carrying that bitterness and anger around since November 4, 2008.
Today I finally felt a bit of that bitterness and anger leave… 9th Circuit District Court Judge Vaughn Walker issued a 136 page decision overturning Proposition 8.
While it’s far from over, his ruling gave me back a feeling of dignity and pride that was ripped away from me by the original vote.
Most of you out there probably don’t really grasp what it is like to have your life put up to popular vote. It’s a feeling that is pretty indescribable. And it is not something I would ever wish upon another. Judge walker stated the same thing in his decision:
Perhaps the most important political finding that Walker made was his conclusion that the fact that Prop 8 passed as a voter initiative was irrelevant as “fundamental rights may not be submitted to [a] vote; they depend on the outcome of no elections.”
I hope this continues to hold true. I’m getting too old for this stuff.
And I write about this today – in my food blog – because for the past almost 5 years I’ve been writing this, the focus has always been about food and family. Both passions of mine. Food and Family. Family and Food. Our Family.
I think it’s quite obvious that Victor and I are probably more married than the majority of the heterosexual population. But while we have the same obligations as the rest of the population – paying our bills, our taxes, concern over an aging parent, the lack of that marriage certificate has seriously hampered our legal status as a couple. From hospital visitation to health insurance, to rights of survivorship, we have to legally plan for every sort of situation – and still face the very real prospect of our legal forms being ignored.
How many of you married people out there had to submit your marriage certificate to add your spouse or children to your medical plan?!? None, right?!? We have to not only submit domestic partner registration, we also have to pay tax on the cost of the insurance. So much for separate but equal.
So… we celebrate today’s ruling the best way we know how… with a simple salad. Grilled steak atop greens with homegrown tomatoes, peaches, plums, black grapes, avocado, bean salad, and a homemade ranch dressing.
Ranch Dressing
- 1/2 cup buttermilk
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1/2 cup mayonnaise
- 1/2 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp onion powder
- 1/2 tsp minced parsley
- salt and pepper
Mix everything together and chill.
And then we had some garlic bread made from yesterday’s loaf of homemade bread. Because it is all about food and family, family and food.
And legal recognition.